Flying High

Long time no write...

Yesterday I had part 2 of 2 of my lesson on Ozzy. We have a show in less than 2 weeks, and we have a lot of work to do! The show is just a little hunter show. Maybe not so much little.... Just little when compared to our end goal of eventing. Every time I have a lesson on him this horse just amazes me. I don't know how I got so lucky. I bought him with out seeing anyone ride him. I saw one video of him free jumping (See below) and one picture. It was a huge gamble, but seems to be paying off!

Ozzy Free Jump

Any who... We have been jumping through the grid. He always likes to creep up to it the first time... he is a bit of a chicken still. We kept building the grid.. and building until we had a 2 ft 9in oxer with about a 2.5 ft spread. He was FLYING! All four of his feet were at least 6in -1 ft above the rail. He was also doing the jumper tail flip. I was ecstatic! (I REALLY wish I would of had some one take a video of him)

And then we went to jump the purple and orange tires. He has done this before but not as a line. (I am sorry to my non horsie readers who don't under stand this term... its two fences in a row... or a 'double') I believe the world almost ended for him. He was TERRIFIED! he got over it... multiple times, but we lost a few things along the way. BOTH FRONT SHOES... OFF! Luckily, he is still sound!

Back to work for me!

Happy Wednesday!

Courage

SO... jared is gone for a week (or two :( )visiting his friend in Virginia. I thought that this would lead to Kali jumping in bed with me and cuddling every night... NOPE! Even she ditches me! I couldn't believe it. The first night jared was gone, Kali and I cuddled all night! Since then she has left me in the middle of the night, every night... Guess the dog thinks I take up too much space in bed too :(

On to more important things...

Last night I watched United 93. It was one of the saddest movies I have ever seen, but so inspirational. In case you couldn't guess, its the movie re-inacting the events that transpired on September, 11, more specifically, Flight 93. These men and woman on the plane fought until the plane went down. No one survived. They were the reason United 93 did not reach its target. It was the only plane that didn't reach its target that day. Its kind of amazing to think about it though... Even with no light at the end of the tunnel, they still managed to rally together and fight back, the best they could.

I really do love movies that leave you full of thoughts. This one made me feel a little more driven than normal. I felt the need to be courageous. I think everyone should join me in this journey to have a little more courage. Even if the act of courage you show is small (relative to the example above) it is still a great feat. Have the courage to try something new even if you may fail. Have the courage to speak up when there is something going on you don't agree with. Have the courage to live. everyday. like its your last.

Keep on living everyone!

The results are in...

.... AND YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!

What is wrong with this world we live in. I pay to have blood work done on my own blood. You would think that I should have the right to see my test... whenever I want. Instead I have to wait to see the doctor for him to explain to me what a 'borderline' test is.  (Explanation: your test indicate that you are borderline). Stupid if you ask me!

I would like to be an informed patient. I have access to many scientific journals and medical papers. I could read current research and make an informed decision when I eventually do meet with the doctor to determine if I would like to receive treatment. I guess I should mention that this test was for Lyme disease... I am kind of stuck on this topic. I have done a lot of research on it (I wrote a paper to gain some more knowledge since many people that are close to me have been diagnosed). It is kind of scary to be honest. There is no way of telling for sure that you absolutely positively do or do not have this ridiculous disease (unless you find DNA of the spirochete in your body...). You can send your blood to a special lab for analysis, but they perform the same techniques. The advantage is they have a different definition of a positive test and only perform Lyme tests (you need less bands to be positive).

The tests that I had only test for antibodies... Not for an actual virus (antigen). Sooo maybe I had it, and my SUPERB immune system knocked it out, or maybe I still have it and my body doesn't recognize it as a foreign body, in which case I am in a bad position. It is almost like a complete gamble....

In conclusion...

I am glad a shoveled out 200 bucks for a borderline test results that I can't see until I meet with a doctor.

Feel so close

First post... no pressure...

Have you heard that song 'Feel so Close'?

I really like this song... For many reason, catchy beat, few words, but its got a lot of soul. It really makes me feel good, and really could be the theme song to my day. 

Last night was a bit of a emotional roller coaster. I 'willingly' forced myself to talk about things that I may not necessarily be comfortable talking about.... my feelings. After spending many years building up walls, and making sure I had little to no reason to ever talk about those evil things, those walls came down. (They of course have been coming down slowly, but last night I felt completely exposed). Letting yourself take that leap, and tell another person how you feel is one of the scariest things one can do. I mean... you leave your self completely vulnerable. And we all know the way it come out and the way it is in your mind are never quite the same. Luckily for me, letting go and talking about what was going on was liberating. It was a huge weight lifted off me. I am going to try to make an effort to let more walls down. Just be free with my thoughts. I don't want to live behind my walls anymore.... 

Thats all for now. 

My research is calling my name, and says I need to get to work

   

ps check out jared's blog ... This is my crazy, philosophical boyfriend!